Canst thou, O partial sleep, give thy repose
To the wet sea-boy in an hour so rude,
And, in the calmest and most stillest night,
With all appliances and means to boot,
Deny it to a king? Then, happy low, lie down.
Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown.
-King Henry IV, Part 2, Act III, Scene 1
Thus Mr. Shakespeare anticipated the Rosebuds’ predicament. Man, was he smart. He’d be even scarier than the Glaciers if he suddenly joined our league.
Those of you not in the lead may not have realized the sleep-depriving pressures a league leader is under. For example, yesterday the Rosebuds had a good day on the diamond, but four teams still gained on them. And what’s scarier is this: it was not just the second place Dragons. Three of the most menacing advances came from three of the most unexpected places!
Standings: Week 12, Game 5 (June 14, 2024)
| Team | Wins | Losses | WPct | GB |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Portland Rosebuds | 41.87 | 29.13 | .590 | 0.0 |
| Haviland Dragons | 41.05 | 29.95 | .578 | 0.8 |
| Peshastin Pears | 38.38 | 32.62 | .541 | 3.5 |
| Canberra Kangaroos | 37.06 | 33.94 | .522 | 4.8 |
| D.C. Balk | 36.55 | 34.45 | .515 | 5.3 |
| Pittsburgh Alleghenys | 33.72 | 37.28 | .475 | 8.2 |
| Flint Hill Tornadoes | 33.63 | 37.37 | .474 | 8.2 |
| Cascadia Glaciers | 33.29 | 37.71 | .469 | 8.6 |
| Salem Seraphim | 31.96 | 39.04 | .450 | 9.9 |
| Kaline Drive | 28.43 | 42.57 | .400 | 13.4 |
| Old Detroit Wolverines | 23.49 | 47.51 | .331 | 18.4 |
Portland 0.75 v. Canberra 0.25
The Kangaroos continue to slump inexplicably. Or at least, I can’t explain this most untimely swoon, where every Kangaroo stumble is a Rosebud boost. The ‘Roos were uneasy at the plate (.184, .311, .263) and sparse on the mound (2 ip, 0 er). Brandon Nimmo (2 for 3 with a HBP) and two one-inning relievers were the only Roos to have championship-quality days.
Portland had a somewhat disappointing day at the plate (.271, .314, .396) and a troubling day from the mound (22.3 ip, 14 er, ERA of about 5.63) which included a triple chulk by starter Zack Littell (2 ip, 6 er) but still gained on the ‘Roos, who started the week in third place but have sagged to fourth. Max Kepler led the ‘Budding offense (3 for 4 with a home run) and Ryne Nelson, who has been a little droopy this spring, had a great day (6 ip, 1 er) to partially undo the Littellian damage.
Haviland 1.03 v. Peshastin (-0.03)
The Dragons aren’t making Rosebuddian repose any easier. Their history this season has to be alarming: coming in as clear, repeatedly-proclaimed favorites, but having to scramble over and over again to regain the top spot in the standings. Plus this time, the Dragons scramble is directed at the Rosebuds, with ominous effect. The Dragons gained about 1/3 of a game on the ‘Buds yesterday by hitting better (.324 .359, .514) and pitching more (13 ip, 6 er). Tarik Skubal was off his game a bit (6.3 ip, 4 er) but Luis Ortiz picked him up (5 ip 1 er). Jeimer Candelario homered and doubled in 5 PA (but gave some of that back with a GDP). Good — but not overwehelmingly good, one would think. Unless one expected the Pears to go 2 for 25 at the plate (.080, .080, .080) and only pitch one scoreless inning. Which is what they did.
Salem 1.15 v. DC (-0.15)
OK, so where are the three unexpected menaces coming from? Well, one is from 9th place Salem! It’s not like they were suddenly the 1925 Yankees: they batted a sweet little .313, .313, .375, led by Richie “Pilfered from Old Detroit” Palacios (2 for 3 with a double) and Luis “Also Pilfered from Old Detroit” Garcia, Jr (2 for 4) (and, to be fair, Alec “Never Been to Old Detroit” Bohm and his 3 for 5 with a double). They also pitched a very nice 15 ip, 6 er set of innings, by three pitchers entirely free of Wolverine taint.
Salem’s quiet, solid quality took on a looming, ominous air because they were playing the Balk, still demoralized by being cheated out of a ride on the Wolverine Elevator. The hang-dog Balk batted fine (.258, .343, .452) featuring a homer and a double from 3 for 4 Alex Verdugo. They just didn’t pitch well. By that I mean, they didn’t pitch at all. Which lassitude they could not afford, since it boosted their replacement innings to 11.
Kaline 1.78 v. Pittsburgh (-0.78)
The second of the three unexpected menaces is even more uneasifying to the would-be King Rosebuds. It’s the kindly, mild 10th place Drive bulldozing through the Alleghenys! The Drive went all Happy Edgar Martinez Day at the plate: .345, .486, .552. Ernie Clement — see that kindly, benign last name? Forget about it: he went 2 for 2 with 2 doubles, epitomizing the “kindly” Wizard’s mechant attitude. (“Mechant” is one of the surprisingly few things I remember from 2 years of college French, and I don’t know how to exactly translate it, but it’s something between “feisty” and “fierce.”) And Drive pitching had the same exact attitude: 13 ip, 2 er, led by MacKenzie Gore exorcising his own demons with 7 ip, 1 er.
Against all this sudden feisty ferocity, the Alleghenys were sluggish to respond. Their horde of batters. — 14 of them, with 56 plate appearances — only managed a .220, .304, .340 line, despite the continuing heroics of consensus MVP Jurickson Profar (2 for 4) . Luis Gil was great again — 5 ip, 1 er — but got no visible support, so his impact on the Allegheny weekly ERA was small compared to the 13 Kaline innings’ impact on the Kaline ERA.
MLB 0.88 v. Flint Hill 0.12
I hesitate* to inject my observations into the sibling rivalry between the Tornados and Rosebuds, but it seems to me the T’s were demoralized by the thumping they received from the ‘Buds back in Week 9. If you remember — and I am confident the Tornados do remember, and deeply appreciate me reminding everyone else — the Rosebuds began that week in 5th place, 0.4 games ahead of the 6th place Tornados. By the end of Week 9, the Rosebuds were in 3rd place, just 1.1 games out of first (and 2 days away from their first taste of first place this season), and the Tornados were in 8th place, 3.9 games behind Portland. Since then the Tornados have lingered in a narrow band between 7th and 9th place while the Rosebuds are currently in their second term as would-be-Kings of the EFL.
It’s kind of sad. And yesterday it got kind of sadder. Despite a valiant effort (49 PA), the T’s could not mount a winning offense (.214, .306, .286). Nor a winning pitching performance: 17.7 irreplaceable non-replacement innings, with 14 irreplaceable earned runs allowed, and a 7.12 daily era. Thus the EFL sank further under .500 as a league, and the Tornados drifted toward the sedimentary layers at the bottom of the standings.
Is this the third “surprising” menace I mentioned: this weight of guilt like a thorny second crown on the brow of the Rosebuds for causing their brother’s misery? It could very well be…
- Total hesitation time: at least 5 seconds.
Old Detroit 1.20 v. Cascadia (-0.20)
… But if the Rosebud head lies uneasy for the fate of its brother, it’s a FOURTH unexpected menace, because the third one I was talking about — and perhaps the most troubling one — is Old Detroit.
Look: the Glaciers had a great day yesterday. They batted .281, .439, .406 — that wonderful OBP carrying their offense, with an ample 41 PA, 9 hits and 9 walks. Elly De La Cruz went 2 for 4 with a triple and a walk.. They had less pitching — only 4.7 innings — but it was entirely scoreless, a combined effort of 4 relievers all at the top of their game.
And yet the Wolverines won, and stole 0.2 of a win from the Glaciers. The W’s hit ok — .219, .306, .438 — but do you know who’s back, and boosted that OBP with his own .500 OBP? Nolan Jones.
But the key was the 7 shutout innings by Hunter Brown and 1.7 more from Mason Miller. Those 8.7 innings, replacing 1.7 replacement innings, brought the W’s ADJUSTED Week 12 ERA down to 2.10.
Even scarier: it would be 1.26 had I activated Drew Thorpe. The W’s have untapped potential they are just beginning to tap. And 5 replacement innings they can replace if they can just get 12 good innings between today and tomorrow. (Wouldn’t you know it? Thorpe is haunting and taunting me by being slated to pitch tomorrow.)
Old Detroit, over the last two days, has elevated its own projected wins by 4 while the Rosebuds’ only improved by 0.8. There are still 91 games in the season, plenty of time for the Wolverines to close the remaining gap of 42 games in these two teams’ projected wins. How can the crowned head of the Rosebuds expect to sleep easy when even the 11th-place team, over the last two days, is so menacing?
