It’s official: the Dragons will be the 2024 EFL Champions.

Standings: End of Week 26

Team	Wins	Losses	WPct	GB
Haviland Dragons	96.96	59.04	.622	0.0
Portland Rosebuds	90.83	65.17	.582	6.1
Peshastin Pears	85.38	70.62	.547	11.6
Pittsburgh Alleghenys	79.77	76.23	.511	17.2
Salem Seraphim	77.52	78.48	.497	19.4
Flint Hill Tornadoes	75.74	80.26	.486	21.2
Canberra Kangaroos	74.79	81.21	.479	22.2
Cascadia Glaciers	69.55	86.45	.446	27.4
D.C. Balk	69.20	86.80	.444	27.8
Old Detroit Wolverines	64.26	91.74	.412	32.7
Kaline Drive	60.98	95.02	.391	36.0

Haviland: 0.55 [5.60 – 0.40] v. Canberra: (-0.55) [0.40 – 5.60]

The Dragons were in position to spend Week 27 coasting to the pennant. But Sunday they decided not to fool around. The pennant was there for the taking, so the Dragons laid waste to Canberra to end the race on the spot.

I don’t want you to think they burned down the entire city. They batted well (.238, .353, .429) but this was no Ohtani-sized mass devastation. Aaron Judge, for example, only went 2 for 3, not 6 for 6, and only hit one home run and one double. He spent much of his time strolling peacefully to first base having been walked.

No, the Kangaroos were wasted more subtly: with outstanding pitching. Shota Imanaga twirled 7 shutout innings , and Seth Lugo spun 7 more for only 2 earned runs. Of course, our teams don’t actually face each other, so the Kangaroos could have hit more than the 9 hits Dragon pitchers allowed. But in this case, the rueful ‘Roos hit almost exactly like they were facing Imanaga and Lugo, collecting 8 hits and 4 walks. (Actually, that was 4 more walks than Imanaga and Lugo allowed.). Kangaroo pitchers were unable to ward off the big loss. They only covered 2 innings and surrendered 3 earned runs.

Nor were the Dragons wanton in their destruction. They did juuuust enough to officially terminate Rosebud hopes, taking a 6.1 game lead with only 6.0 games left in the season.

Let the Dragons enjoy this final week, which they will spend in Portland playing the Rosebuds just for fun. Mostly just for fun: at essentially 97 – 59, they are 5 games ahead of the Yankees and Phillies for best record in all of big league baseball. Also, a 100- win season is in the cards if they don’t slack off.

As for the Kangaroos: they are now doomed to a sub-.500 season — just barely. They best they can do is 80.79 – 81.21. But they are still in the running for 5th, 6th, 7th, 8th, or 9th place. (The Wolverines are just 5 games out of reach. Sorry, Ry, you can’t take 10th place away from me.)

Correction — the ‘Roos are still in the running for 4th place, as the Alleghenys are only 4.98 games ahead of them, and are playing the Balk, who are behind the ‘Roos. (The Seraphim are playing the Drive, also behind ‘Roos.) All you gotta do, ‘Roos, is not give up earned runs this week (and hope the Balk don’t either), and 4th place could still be yours.

Portland: 0.20 [0.98 – 5.02] v. Peshastin: (-0.20) [5.02 – 0.98]

Fans in the Wenatchee Valley, from Cashmere all the way to Dryden, are plagued by “if-only-ism” this week. The Pears completely dominated the Rosebuds this week, even after letting up a little on Sunday. If only they had done as well the rest of the year! But Sunday was more like the rest of the season, as the Pears batted a tepid .179, .319, .385, and pitched fine (2.7 ip, 1er) but only part of a day’s worth.

More to the point, that Pear dominance was as much the Rosebuds’ doing as it was the Pears. For example, yesterday the ‘Buds recovered part of a win while only batting almost identically to the Pears (.250, .310, .385) but pitching much worse (11 ip 7 er). I should research rose diseases to diagnose the malady that laid them low these last two weeks.

The Rosebuds cannot win the 2024 championship. But neither can they fall any further than third place. Even if they have a week as bad as week 26, they’ll be in second when it’s over. To fall into third, the Pears’ Week 27 wins and the ‘Buds’ Week 27 losses will have to average more than 5.75.

Pittsburgh: 0.36 [1.35 – 4.65] v. Salem: (-0.36) [4.65 – 1.35]

That infinitesimal Allegheny hope for coming in third exists only because the A’s woke up a bit on Sunday and wrested back a little over 1/3 of a win from the Seraphim. Jurickson Profar (of course!) and Jake Burger led the Allegheny attack, each going 2 for 4 with a home run, contributing to the team’s .290, .357, .661 batting line. Two of the three Allegheny starting pitchers struggled, but Paul Skenes didn’t. His 5 shutout inning salvaged a 14.7 ip, 7 er pitching line.

Even though it finished on a down-note, Salem had a great Week 26. They’re only 2.2 games out of fourth place, having gained 3.3 games in a single week. They finished strong on Sunday: .279 .340, .651 at the plate, only a shade less scintillating than the Alleghenys. They pitched much better: 15 ip, 2 er – but none of those innings replaced replacements for the Seraphim, while almost half of the A’s innings were replacing replacements.

The Alleghenys’ tiny chance of finishing 3rd is the top of the range of their outcomes. Slipping to 5th, 6th, or even 7th is still possible. For the Seraphim, 4th place is the best they can do. If they play in Week 26 like they did in Week 25, they should easily climb back above .500. But it is also possible for them to slip all the way to 7th place.

Flint Hill: 0.08 [2.85 – 3.15] v. MLB

The Tornados almost evened up their series with the MLBers, but fell just 0.08 games short. They batted weaker than they normally do (.217, .327, .319), and they only pitched 2 innings (0 earned runs). The bonus day works for us only if our teams play as hard as they do when they are playing an official game. The ‘Nados didn’t do that this time, apparently.

Flint Hill currently occupied the pivotal sixth-place spot in the standings, neither entirely in the upper division nor entirely in the lower one. The Alleghenys and 4th place are still within range — but it will require a GREAT week for the T’s and a dismal one for the A’s. The Seraphim would be easier to catch. But the Kangaroos are even closer just behind the Tornados, so Flint Hill has to be careful. At least the T’s don’t have to worry about losing to the expansion team: the Glaciers are just out of reach at 6.2 games back.

DC: (-0.41) [1.87 – 4.13] v. Kaline: 0.41 [4.13 – 1.87]

The officially last-place Drive did not play like a last-place team in Week 26 — and here’s the bad news for all you Wolverine fans out there: if they play this week like they did last week, they won’t be in last place at the end of the season — not officially, not unofficially, not even symbolically or by reputation. The Drive finished off their Week 26 drive by hitting well (.316, .409, .316), if gently, and by pitching ok (10.7 ip. 5 er, 4.12 ERA).

DC’s late week comeback effort faltered Sunday. The Balk only hit .185, .290, .370. They only pitched 8.7 ip while surrendering 6 earned runs, undone by Cole Irvin’s octuple chulk (2/3 innings, 12/3 earned runs).

The Drive have driven the Balk into a disastrous tumble down the standings: DC is now in 9th place behind the expansion team! It’s not an unsurmountable distance: only 0.4 games. But DC has to face the 4th place Alleghenys, while the Glaciers get the 6th place Tornados. I suspect tocxins (or are those sirens “toxins” ?) are going off in the Balkan fan base. Can the Balk get back on top of the expansion team? (Might they even fall behind the Woeverines? — Yes! They might! But it’s unlikely: the W’s are about 4 games back and will be facing the implacable average MLBers.)

The Drive, on the other hand, can’t reach the Glaciers, but they sure can reach the Wolverines who often dwell near glaciers! If you are going to lose to the expansion team, it would be nice consolation to beat the defending champions. Right?

Cascadia: (-0.64) [3.54 – 2.46] v. Old Detroit: .64 [2.46 – 3.54]

The pathetic Woeverines — but I repeat myself — made their week of humiliation at the hands of the expansion team a little less painful by getting a good outcome Sunday. The outcome was mostly down to Blake Snell’s 6 scoreless innings. Josh Bell homered (his only good outcome of the day) and Jose Iglesias went 2 for 4, but there wasn’t much punch in the Woeverine lineup: .160, .192, .220.

Except for Gio Urshela (3 for 4 with a homer and a double) the Glaciers were cold yesterday at bat (.206 .263, .412) and on the mound (8.7 ip, 5 er). The result revived Wolverines’ hopes of maybe passing the Glaciers in the standings, but a 5.29-game deficit is practically impassable without a week of shutout pitching. Maybe if I had 6 Blake Snells.. Catching the Kangaroos is about as hard for the Glaciers as catching the Glaciers is for the W’s.

So…

The Wolverines are off to do battle against average MLBers. We are done facing off against you guys for the year. The W’s will do their best to deliver more wins than losses against MLB. But the rest of you don’t have the 2024 Woeverines to kick around anymore until next spring… and I am going to lose the trophy to the Dragons just like I did the first year we had a trophy. (Well, not JUST like that. The W’s didn’t finish 10th — or 11th — that time.)