Is it just me, or is this week strangely, almost inexplicably, exciting? Perhaps we can do something to lower the inexplicability index a little… or is that a bad idea? Is inexplicability somehow positively correlated with enjoyability?

Not complete and utter inexplicability, as if all the results are just random noise. Then we might as well play Candyland every day for 23 years. I mean, are we seeing real variations in team strength that we weren’t expecting, but that probably have causes if we could dig in the right places to find them? Then this season would be full of buried treasure: insights into how to play (or not play) this game we could use to get better at it. Or even insights into how MLB teams can play (or not play) their hands…

Portland 0.7, Kaline 0.3. Kaline leads the series, 3.3 – 1.7.

For example: For 22 1/3 years I have been certain that the proper way to manage one’s EFL team is to bench the weakest players, either entirely or partially. The Wizard, who is enjoying today his 49th straight day in first place — plays ’em all 100% all the time. Or does he? I just looked: no Drive is completely benched, but two pitchers and four hitters are allocated at less than 100%. So has the Wizard started squirming about swarming? Or has he been hoodwinking us all this time?

Henry Bolte is allocated only 67%. He went 0 for 4 yesterday, plus he struck out twice (strikeouts are slightly more damaging than hitting into non-double-play outs) and got caught stealing (which pretty much erases one of the team’s hits). So the damage he did was reduced by one third… which was a good thing, since the team only got 31 PA and batted only .143, .226, .179! Cutting Bolte’s playing time improved the team’s performance by a some amount — I don’t know how much, but I bet it’s noticeable, at least 3%. Also — the team allowed as many earned runs as innings pitched. But since only one inning was pitched, the impact was relatively small.

Then along come the Rosebuds:

• They got no pitching
• Only two hitters appeared, making a total of 6 plate appearances
• They made outs on balls in play every time except one, when Alejandro Kirk earned “Rosebud Player of the Day” by taking a walk.
• And yet they still WON 7/10ths of a game. I bet Rosebud ownership is on Cloud Nine — or at LEAST Cloud 8, see below — about so shocking an outcome! ¹

But beware, ye Rosebuds! There may also be a piper expecting payment over the last two days of Week 18.

Pittsburgh 0.6, Cascadia 0.3. Cascadia leads the series, 2.6 – 2.4

The Glaciers have been in second place for 46 out of the last 47 days — only interrupted on July 11 by the Tornados, who were immediately torned back. Yesterday they batted abundantly (50 PA) and well (.348,.380, .457) with a Nico Hoerner home run. They only got 5 innings out of their only pitcher (Tyler Phillips) but the were solid:just 2 earned runs.

But they didn’t win the day, Those wily old Alleghenys hit at least as well (35 PA, .344,.343, .625) if not quite as much, also getting 1 homer (Braden Montgomery). They also got 5-ish innings (5 2/3) from their only pitcher — but Merrill Kelly allowed ZERO earned runs. That little trick won the day for the A’s.

Flint Hill 1.5, MLB (-0.5). Flint Hill leads the series, 3,1 – 2.0.

The Tornados came into the day yesterday trailing the MLB in their series, 1.6 – 2.5. They hit…OK, I guess: 35 PA, .250, .344, .321. No homers, of course, not with that line. But you don’t win 1.5 out of 1 games with that stuff.

But if your pitchers combine for 14 2/3 innings while allowing only 3 earned runs? Well, that’s a different story. The centerpiece for that performance was Tyler Mahle’s 6 innings, 0 earned runs outing. Flint Hill is a known wheeler and dealer, always eager to improve his team for the current pennant race. The Drive and the Glaciers cannot relax with the T’s right on their tails. (Although so far neither the T’s nor anyone else has come sniffing around the Wolverine roster for detachable studs…)

Peshastin 0.6, DC 0.4. DC leads the series, 3.3 – 1.7.

The Pears slipped into 5th place after Sunday’s games, and stayed there yesterday. Yesterday they hit well enough to win: 34 PA, .323, .353, .419 in 34 PAs. No one hit a home run, but Jackson Holliday went 4 for 5 with a double to lead the way. The only pitcher, Orion Kerkering, pitched a scoreless inning.

That represented a small-but-precious rebound for the Pears after the drubbing they got on Sunday. The Balk did not make it easy for the Pears. They got 23 PA at a .200, .304, .450 pace, including a Tyler Soderstom home run. They also got 6 decent innings with 3 earned runs allowed from Brandon Sproat.

Haviland 0.7, Canberra 0.3. Canberra leads the series, 3.3 – 1.7

In case you hadn’t heard, the Kangaroos pounded the Wolverines last week, running up a league high adjusted winning percentage despite the W’s having the league’s third highest raw winning percentage. The Kangaroos continue to play very well this week, running a close second in raw winning percentage (.731) — despite a poor performance yesterday. Seven Kangaroo batters took 30 PA, slashing .250, .300, .464 — not bad. Two Kangaroo pitchers covered 1 2/3 innings — at the cost of 2 earned runs — disappointing, but a small enough sample to not do too much harm.

Haviland pitching was about equal to Canberra’s: 2 ip, 2 er. But their offense was much more impressive: nine batters making 33 PA and going off at .400, .455, .567. They did that wiithout any home runs. I’m not sure who the hitting star was:

• Dillon DIngler: 2 for 3 with a walk?
• Joey Ortiz: 2 for 4 with a double and a triple?
• Jake Bauers: 2 for 3 with a double, a walk, and a stolen base?
• Alec Burleson: 3 for 5 with a double?

Old Detroit 1.0, Salem 0.0. Old Detroit leads the series, 4.4 – 0.6.

The Seraphim were mild for heavenly beings Monday: 35 PA, .200, .314, .267. Masyn Winn was the leading hitter, I guess. Or maybe Jo Adell” a for 3 with a double and a walk. Two pitchers combined to finish 1 2/3 innings with 1 earned run allowed.

The slate was left mostly blank, so the Wolverines tried to fill it. Their seven hitters put in 31 PAs, and batted .238, .355, .500, thanks to a Randy Arozarena home run, a 3 for 5 day from AJ Ewing (who also stole a base), and a 2 for 3 with a double from Colt Keith. Walbert Urena, drafted at the last minute in a managers meeting earlier this season, pitched 6 innings with only 1 earned run. Kumar Rocker added 6 2/3 at the cost of 2 earned runs. Their combined efforts softened the impact of another case of Matthew Liberatore liberating Wolverine opponents to score 3 runs in 3 2/3 innings. The 10th-place Wolverines, who had the 3rd best raw winning percentage last week (but got beat 5.4 – 0.6 by the Kangaroos) are running the best raw winning percentage in the EFL this week so far (.746) and getting it boosted by generous Seraphim to a league leading .872 adjusted winning percentage.

Or is it cruelty to torment such a poor team with unsustainable visions of grandeur just before the MLB trade deadline?

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1. Where does the “on Cloud Nine” expression come from? And why does it mean what it means? Talk about the apparently inexplicable… ↩︎