The Pittsburgh manager was fuming. All week long, his Alleghenys had been pummeled by the Salem Seraphim. The players from Pittsburgh were discouraged, demoralized, and defeated.
On Monday morning, he decided to call a team meeting. The players shuffled into the room, looking depressed. The manager began to speak. “Look, I know you guys have had a tough week. But you’re better than this! Don’t let those Seraphim scare you. Yes, I know they’re heavenly beings, but that doesn’t make them superhuman baseball players. They spend all of their time singing praise songs anyway. Besides, I just found out that their pitcher for tonight’s game is injured and they won’t have any pitching today!”
The Alleghenys looked at each other, hope dawning in their eyes as they realized the truth. “We have pitching!” said Zach Eflin. “In fact I’m feeling pretty good today. I think I can go into the 7th inning!”
“I can go 6,” said Edward Cabrera. “So can I,” echoed Kyle Harrison. Luis Gil chimed in: “I’ll see what I can do.”
“That’s the way to think!” said the manager. “We may be just a bunch of low hills, but we can take on a gang of singing spirits. Let’s go!”
The Alleghenys burst out of the locker room, and they played ball, pitching 23+ innings with a 2.70 ERA. Salem went down to a humiliating defeat – so much so that Pittsburgh actually WON the weekly series. Way to go, Alleghenys!
Thanks for that report, Dave. It’s nice to hear what’s going on in the locker room. That was a pretty good speech by the manager; I was beginning to wonder what I was paying him for.
Very moving.
One note: the week isn’t over until after today’s games. So the A’s could slip back under .500 in adjusted winning percentage before the. week closes.